He's NOT the Messiah - he's just a very naughty boy!

Because Russel forgot his underwear at my house and I need to return it to him.

:)

Ilaria

Because I have come to practically all the shows of international comedy club that used to be funny laundry. I am a big fan of stand up comedy shows. And I thin I deserv the tickets
Xavier F, Feb 3, 2014 @ 16:22

I should win because I am the one true messiah and he has not included me on his show! I need to be present so he can witness my powers and rewrite his entire comedic spectacle around my personality. He will be convinced at sight since I do posses all the important traits of a messiah: 

- unruly facial hair

- well-sized ego

- general contempt from my contemporaries

- an overwhelming need to be listened to

Now, I hope you can find in yourself the love for your highest, holiest and most humble server - myself - and send me those bloody tickets!

Signed: YouR_tRuE_meSSiAH1979

I am a HUGE fan and completely relate to Russell as this is how I looked for weeks after my daughter was born!

Why not?

This is just a reminder about drinking & driving, although I know Russel drinks no longer.

I went out last night & had 14 beers but left my car at the pub & took a bus home. 
I'm really proud of myself this morning... I've never driven a bus before..!!

Promise I will take the M2 home after Russell's show.

Hello,

I'd like to answer that I should win these tickets because my friend Richard has his birthday on the 12. So it would be great fun to see this after a good birthday cake. The second reason is that Richard is an Englishman and I am not, and I am trying hard to improve my english and to understand his jokes !

So your gift would aid understanding between people.Thank you and best regards.

Martine, from Lausanne.

Hoping being in the same room some of his mojo rubs off and have as much success with the ladies!

Because I totally deserve a break! I buy so many show tickets, once in a blue moon I should get a show for free.

Because Russel forgot his underwear at Ilaria's house, and he doesn't want to go back there to bring them back cos he says Ilaria is into some local Italian stuff which an Englishman like him doesn't get.

So he asked me to take his underwear back for him. And I ain't doing that for him unless he gives the tickets to me!

Ilaria: if I get the tickets, 1 is yours...(-;

I want to learn about morality, humility and good conduct, from the philandering anarchistic monster-ego.

I could be his next girlfriend hahahaha

You'll have to fight Ilaria for it!

Being French speaking, I often take my expat friends to some French comedy shows. I laugh a lot. They don't get many of the jokes. It's a challenge for me: will I understand British humour????

an early valentines day present for my wife (who is a big fan) would be great. I could'nt afford two tickets, although I think she may have more fun on her own if you know what I mean.

Thanks!!

I am a poor Chalet Girl and every day I have to stoke the Furry Wall to calm my nerves and carry on. 

I should win a free ticket to see Russell Brand because I am a poor Chalet Girl; I spend all day cleaning up after other people in the 'glamorous' ski resort Verbier. Let me tell you now that they do not teach 'toilet flushing' in the British Public School system - but it's something they should certainly start. 

I constantly smell of bleach (and that's on a good day) and work for evil masters who have too much money and not enough manners.

ON THE UP SIDE---- The ridiculously over the top chalet that I work in has a real life FURRY WALL in one of the bedrooms. I am filled with joy everytime I look at it, never mind the feelings of elation when I actually stoke it. It gets me through every single day and puts a smile on my prematurely wrinkledface. 

I would love to win free tickets to see the master and creator of the furry wall! I love all of Russell Brand's inappropriate jokes (I am Scottish and very crude) and I love his cheeky little smile. 

I will also offer Russell Brand and his team a FREE* ski holiday in Verbier after his gig.

Forever Grateful,

Becca 

*Accommodation - sleeping on sofa (which DOES turn into a bed big enough for two)

*does not include lift pass

*does not include transport

*May include leftovers

xxx

I want to get some tricks on how to be funny too..

If I won I would be forced to place an Ad on Glocals to look for a female companion to go with.

That in itself would create a comic furore of chaotic proportions.

Then there would be the "how did it go" thread... where no doubt there would be two completely differing views expressed..hers and mine.

Not sure If I need all that work.. but then again Ghandi said "There are two ways to win, luck or hard work..."

Im never lucky so...

The Complex comic is coming
The madman, the messiah of mirth
For a night at Beaulieu a veritable fleau
will amuse us with stories of worth (CHF 90)

He uses his fame to attract the dames
And boasts of his marvelous wealth
But for the Satanic sluts and girls that he plucks
Watch after your sexual health

His Brand of humour may somehow seem cooler
Than Paxman or Gallagher or Ross
But the message behind is not so sublime
Its inhuman, unreligeous and dross

Entertainment and religeon are part of his vision
For a new way that will change the earth
But beware the tounge forked and mission from god
You will end up in bed then give birth

That's my best effort, sorry;-)

...Because I recently entered a local paper's pun contest. I sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. 

Because I need to see if at least HE makes me get british humor!! ;)

'Cause I need a reason to finally wear my provocative red dress in public. Plus, it's matching the poster!

...I would like to "ROAR" to him why he left Kathy Perry!!! he must be blind...the poor guy! =:D 

And I can't spell... I meant to write STROKE!

I would claim that English is my second langauge but I already said I was from Scotland. 

Does 'Scottish' count? 

Maybe better when you were stoking it, not sure what goes on at the furry wall if they cant even flush the toilet  Hope you win :-)

Haha :)

I think I scared Russel off :) Italians can be scary!

Because as a disciple of Rael for the last 19 years, I need to know if I've beeen listening to the right Messiah, and Russel will enlighten me :-)

Because someone needs to bring the Christmas decorations.

Because he has been dismissed as a lightweight self - promoting ****, yet has articulated in the public sphere what many many people feel AND has got philosophers and political thinkers commenting on what he has said!

He has got people thinking - quite an achievement these days if you ask me!!

I should win one, at least. Why? Quite simple! I go to the church almost everyday praying to God a good guy in my life. Russel Brand maybe answer my questions!! ROARRR :D

middle age crisis + living around boring people = I URGE TO WIN THESE TICKETS!!!!

(Reading at those NOT funny posts confirms my second sentence...)

Why should I win tickets?

Because with all the studying, I am in great need of a laugh out loud evening!

Give me a night off all this boring studying!

I need to bring my mom to this show, as she is the one with the messiah complex.   She kept me at home until I was 32, I played in a team sport with 12 other lads, worked in my dad's business and I believe she never dated anyone......and on Monday mornings she used to shout....Jaysus  Mike, get outta dat bed.     

My elder grandfather has recently passed away. My grandmother is a big fan of Russel Brand. 

Actually, when I asked her about how my grandfather died, she came up with this: 

"He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

I was like, grandma, two centenerians having sex is surely asking for trouble..

"Oh no, dear," she replied. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring."

...ok... grandma

"You know, It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even."

"Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, and continued,

"He'd still be alive if only the ice cream truck hadn't come along that morning.."

Help me get her an autograph from Russel!

I think I should win some tickets because maybe then I might finally understand why the ladies seem to love him so much.

I mean, look at the guy - he looks like a vagrant who has been dragged through a hedge backwards, and has the kind of shifty, quirky demeanour that one would normally associate more with a shady drug dealer than an international superstar. And yet, it works for him.

It doesn't matter that he probably hasn't managed to pass a comb through his hair in the last 10 years, the ladies still go wild at the very thought of catching a glimpse of his untamable barnet and wide-eyed, stubbly visage.

Maybe it's the edgy, unpredictable humour that cuts a path so skillfully through a woman's defences? Or perhaps it's that sly smile that works it's magic on the fairer sex? It may be a combination of all the above, in which case the rest of us men should stop cutting our hair and start acting a bit weirder. In any case, there is something special about him that I can't quite put my finger on.

Going to see his show just might help answer the mysteries outlined above.

And if it doesn't, well, I would have a good time anyway.

There was a young lad from Geneva, who decided to become a believer.

He won a ticket to see Russel Brand, so he grabbed a young girl by the hand,

Swearing and promising her he would not decieve her.

They went off together to Lausanne, for to see her laugh all night was his plan.

But when the show ended, his plan was upended,

'coz Russel was clearly far funnier and just what she wanted in a man.

So alone the young lad went, back to Geneva all spent,

Cursing that Russel Brand to hell and back! "This winning ticket they could fuckin' have back"!

.....Even though he'd actually not even spent a cent!

Who is Russel Brand? 

Because I'm the girl his ex-wife kissed. 

Snap, me too!!! I bought new manola's to match..

I am loser and this is my only chance of getting free tickets to a show I will probably just laugh hysterically! 

When I saw this ad, I told my husband about the contest. 

He responded "What a load of codswallop. I'd be chuffed to see someone say anything funnier than that bloke. I'm arse over elbows for him myself!"

Darling, I think you just did. 

#alwayslaughing #marriedabrit

Here's a video Russel made just for us folks living in CH:

I ain't one of the judges, but my vote so far is for Charlie and Duda

Because I'm dating a skeleton and he has nobody to go with ;-)

So, who won?

Ain't fair! Crouching concert, hidden Glocals conspiracy.

If I were to win, I'd at least make sure I'm there in time, to see this tiny Jack Russell take on the Messiahs.

The Winners, as decided by International Comeda Club, are:

Category 1: Duda

Category 2: Ilaria S, Rebecca T 

Category 3: Yannis Lymperopoulos, Buzzcocks

Winners: pls drop me an email asap (via glocals) with your full name + delivery address, and we'll send you the tickets tomorrow (Saturday) by post. If we don't get your shipping details by Sunday latest, we'll give the tickets to someone else.

Enjoy the show!

Nir, glocals guy

Each winner gets 2 tickets, BTW

Congratulations to the winners!! :(

I actually have two good seats in 3rd cathegory to sell and I can make a good deal!:)Send me PM if interested! 

Ilaria

For How much are you selling something that don't cost you a thing? That's unfair!!

Ilaria, will you sell the tickets to the member who gives you the best reason to buy it ?

Misunderstanding, tickets bought way before this contest! And paid :) not the ones won of course! No one I know wants them.so instead if losing them im just asking here. Nothing unfair about it I think!

Well done to the winners, now it's cancelled, see if you can get a refund for the hideously priced tickets, it would be worth a try;-)

Even at half price they were too expensive, I habe seen him live a couple of times and it is a great show but not worth that much.

has he confirmed that it's cancelled due to low demand?

Oooooohhh! I thought this competition thing was a joke!

i didn't check the site thread again......but it's all immaterial now!

How ironic. I NEVER win competitions and then, when I do, the prize bloody evaporates!!!

So who got your tickets?  I know its now cancelled but as of today, not as of "sunday latest"

No idea - hardly matters now does it? The Messiah never came

do you think his cancellation is related to sunday's vote 

Ha ha - good one!