Let the admins know I would say...specially if the names repeat. They can then drop them off I imagine. 

No repeat offenders and I dont want to get anyone booted...would rather handle it as an etiquette kind of thing.

If there is consensus that this isnt the purpose of glocals then maybe a sticky post or some text when one signs up might be enough.

I am sure they contact you because they would like to purchase the piece of art on your right.

LOL, I did wonder if I should go back to having just a photo of my feet

Its happened to me a lot. I dont mind if its just for a chat but some are downright pervy.

This is outrageous!

I never get random emails from females on Glocals! Something has to be done!

Another thread dealing with the same issue.

That thread seems to say that this is general problem with open forums and that the solution is blocking the person immediatly. :(

I've been on EF for years and never once got a random message so its clearly not a problem with all forums. Mind you on EF I just have an avatar type picture....Its a bit sad that in a European country in the 21st centuary that I cant put a regular photo of myself on a forum....ho hum.

Bit picky for a Friday aren't we ?? oops sorry meant to say Hi, Hello, How ya goin, Wassup, etc etc..

Valerie: Yes I kinda am annoyed by recieving them. It would be a different story if someone had met me, had something in common (like nationality) and/or wished to ask me something. Glocals for me is more a way to meet people in real life, and there are plenty of events for this. There are also plenty of virtual meeting and dating sites, so why would anyone need to approach a stranger on this site? 

Wojtek: I'm not sure how best to explain myself. I try...The problem is not with the messages themselves but what is the motivation behind these messages? Why are these men sending "how are you messages" to me and not you? Can you honestly tell me its not the start of an approach? 

Many women on here seem to know exactly what im talking about and many men (jokingly) complain of not getting approaches. This already suggests something a bit off. When I walk along in swiss streets I get men trying to speak to me, only becuase I am alone. These guys are not reaching out becuase they are lonely but because they feel/hope I am "available". Multipy this by several times a month and add with random guys (and they are never female) contacting me for no reason and maybe you start to see why I dont like this.

Have you recieved any emails or chats of this type? Were any from men? 

Bado? Never heard of it but I'll check it out

Its quite amazing how divisive this issue is actually....

Sorry its Badoo.

Scary place,have fun :)

You want random emails from fetichists on glocals?

gah! 

Maybe reverting to the chicken pic is safest...

I always joke about this.

A guy posts on the language exchange and he gets no responses.

As soon as a girl posts, you have 45 guys queued up like "I'VE BEEN SEARCHING SOOO LONG FOR A FRENCH/ENGLISH EXCHANGE! I'M SO GLAD I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE!"

Either way, I have friends who met their significant others through Glocals so maybe that's a good thing. 

I get this as well. Messages from random people saying "hi, lets be friends". Just that. No introduction, no nothing. I just ignore them

Use my photograph - nobody contacts me in this way

You mean nobody loves your craggy jaw, Paul?

I think we ought to start up a fan club for you.

I don't understand why or how the community can "weigh" in on this "problem". Just ignore/delete the message or block the person. There is nothing glocals can do to stop people messaging other members as doing that will defeat the purpose of glocals which is to meet and exchange messages.  If you think having a picture of yourself doesn't help matters, remove it. 

Janet: you seem to be annoyed by my question, or did i pick this up wrong?

I dont agree that theres nothing a community can do about behaviour of members of community. I do agree with you that glocals is about meeting and exchanging messages, but please lets do the meeting part first. 

I was not asking what I should do in my particular circumstance, of course I can ignore/delete/block but that doesnt really solve what i see as the wider issue: that guys on this site feel its ok to cold approach women(not just me) on this site simply because they are women. 

Frankly I'm a little shocked that you'd pick up on my (somewhat tongue in cheek) suggestion to take down my photo as a good course of action. Reminds me of being told to cover up so as not to get attention in less female friendly parts of the world.

No, Aoife, I'm not annoyed. I just don't see what the fuss is about.
So what if a random guy says "Hi" online? I follow my own advice - delete/ignore/block. Simple click of a mouse.

Should I ask the local council to do something about random men on the street saying hello to me, whether I like the look of them or not?
No, I simply ignore them and get on with my day.

Or if I go to a bar and get an unwelcome advance, do I
call management and tell them to do something about their clientele? No.

So why should glocals be different?

You're a grown, pretty woman and you will get attention from both good and dogdy fellows simply by having a photo online. It's life. Deal.

You've just acknowledged that the same thing happens out on the street.. It's a part of life. Would you also like for their to be rules about approaching women IRL? 

The whole purpose of this site is to meet people. It seems like you want to put rules on how we must communicate [can't send unwarranted messages], with whom we communicate [must be even ratio of girls and guys or it is unfair], and in which order we are to communicate [only message after we meet in person].. 

Some guys are too shy to approach a girl at an event, so why shouldn't they be allowed to attempt a friendly conversation via messaging?

I feel like I could go on commenting on this forever, but I have more important things to do (e.g., browse glocals and message the chicks with cute profiles)..

On a side note, please ignore the message I sent you asking if you want to come over to my place tonight ;)

Aoife: if you ask for feedback and people take the time to share theirs with you, no need to be "shocked" or to (slightly) attack them when you don't like what they say...

For your question:

1. Our system is set up so that if a certain number of members block another member (let's call him member X), or report that X's emails are spam, then member X is automatically blocked for 10 days. If it happens again, it's 20 days in the freezer. Third time, it's acount removed. 

2. Our system is also set up so that when you report someone as sending you spam, the admin sees the message you reported as spam. If that message is just "Hi", the admin won't take more action (unless more people report X as spam). But if the message reported is "let's have sex tonight", the admin will block X on the spot. 

3. If someone sends send you un-solicited "Hi", it's up to you to decide if to reply / ignore / block. As said, if enough people block, the sending members will be penalisied. 

4. We thought of systems where members could email others only if they both somehow pre-confirmed they met before, but decided that idea has bigger issues, so we killed it. 

Happy to hear any better suggestions. 

Nir

Thanks for the feedback Nir, its good to know about the system thats in place.

And thanks Janet for the reply. I take your point on bars etc but i still cannot make peace with random approaches on the street. It makes me feel like "this guy thinks I am some kind of prostitute that he can just come up and talk to". I feel depersonalised and so I cant take it as any kind of compliment. Esp since a compliment is supposed to be about a particular person and since these guys will approach the next unaccompanied woman it isnt about me, its about their feeling of entitlement. (and by the way, I seem to only get approaches by guys I have never met or spoken to ie v rarely from anyone I meet at an event, i dont count myself as _that_ attractive)

Nathan: I am here to meet new people - *people* - men, women, older, younger, or anyone that i can connect with. I really doubt the guys i speak about have seen me anywhere apart from a computer screen. You ask if I would like rules, what I'd really like is an environment where no one felt it was acceptable to try this "drague statistique" where women are approached systematically. If you actually like to approach a specific woman/person because you like something about that person then fine. 

Overall I am still rather dazed by the reaction overall to the question. A little saddened too, I think, it seems that most people who replied think this is acceptable, inevitable, something that just has to be dealt with and even some suggest I should be happy about unsolicited communications which have the effect of making me feel like some product on display. (!)

Sorry....i write too much, dont want to go on and on but i am really struggling with this...

@aiofe: i don't get what you're so struggling with. it's a simple fact of life: people, especially the make type, sometimes approach women unsolcited and speak with them. in the street, in the beach, online, at the movies. has been the case for hundreds of years (minus the online), will be the case for the next hundreds of years (plus new technologies). it's human nature. where's your big struggle coming from?

@Aiofe

Is it only in CH that you feel targeted, it never happened to you in your native land or elsewhere? If the problem’s strictly local, then you need to consider whether your “look” isn’t being misinterpreted.  On the other hand, if you are accosted wherever you go, then have a good, long think about your image.  Maybe you are unwittingly sending out the wrong message.

Dress and comportment codes vary from place to place and the only way to deter the unsolicited approach is to dress somewhat down rather than up and walk purposefully as if you know exactly where you are going.

Fading ever so slightly into the local wallpaper could also make a difference.

R.

@ritchie: i think you're off the mark here in putting the blame on aiofe's dress or behaviour. you can tell by aiofe's online picture that she's not dressed in an extra provocative way. and aiofe's point is mainly about men online saying hi to her, not about being harassed on the streets. 

Oh please, tell me there is no message behind it?

I get those to and those guys are probably users of Badoo... I dont feel comfy couse I ve been there, seen that and there is always something behind, you guys are just to scared to admit it. 

I think she has mentioned being approached in the street.

R.

and one more thing...if you guys just sending that to know people why you only send it to girls, never guys, heh? looks like u have your answer

I agree that a guy who sends a 'hi' message only to girls is likely looking for a date. but still, as he long as he keeps it to hi, even if he doesn't get a reply, I don't see anything else wrong with that. It happens every day everywhere.

how do you know i didnt?  as I said...been there, seen that, so basically I know what I am talking about. Do u email guys as well or its just girls...? 

Of course I did , I was actually very naive. Dont you think you can have a nice interesting conversation with the other guy as well?

Think you know definition of date, and sorry for bringing it all up again, I am just old fashioned person and think that if someone is interested in nice conversation will  not only poke those with cool profile pic. I am taking part in some glocals events and feel much better when people talk to me then not only online. 

Morally, ethically, legally, socially, professionally…Sending “Hi” to anyone is not at all wrong.

Straight and simple…how will a person approach you if he/she doesn’t know you and wants to know you now?

Please politely ignore the message if you are not interested.

PS: It’s obviously bad/wrong if someone sends repeat messages and says something derogatory. Then you should report to Admin.

Aoife, It's just my opinion, but I really think you are making a mountain out a molehill on this non-issue. Relax, girlfriend!

There is no point getting worked up over something you cant change. As someone else has pointed out. Men have approached women since time immemorial through whatever medium at disposal. It is not about entitlement, it's just human nature.

If you show no interest in his advance, he is well in his rights to approach another woman. Is the buck supposed to stop with you?

 Regarding being approached in the street/public. I must highlight there is a big different between a smile and a polite "Bonjour" from a stranger who then merrily goes on his way and a chat up conversation, or asking you to go home with him for a fee. 

Which one of the above tends to happen to you? I see nothing wrong in the first example. The second example can be good or bad, depending on what is being said. The last, well, that's a big no no. 

And on a lighter note, yes, be happy that men find you attractive now. The numbers dwindle with time.... Trust me, I know

Hi Wojtek,

I think you have made a lovely point and it highlights the bottom-line of many of the valid observations made on several of the "issues" - that a few rotten apples may spoil the whole barrel. There is a level of involuntary distrust resulting from the half-hearted, impersonal approach used by very few persons hoping to gain a response by upping the numbers, when we would really like to be open and interested (in all kinds of exchanges). 

So, best to write a bit more than hi to make it personal, meet people in person .... and for those who need a life or a cold shower, some of the lines are so bad, it can provide glorious entertainment to whole crowds of women (if you have the right sense of humour), so there is some sort of poetic justice. ;-)

Although this thread has shown its face many a time, the thing that always amuses me is when other women join in with “Oh! That happens to me ALL the time – it’s SO annoying”  *face in palm of hand*…(guilty as charged, by the way)...

Let me tell you that changing your photo back to your feet will NOT help, because we're not being chatted up because we sit somewhere between Scarlett Johanssen and Beyonce on the “gorgeous-ometer”!.

Amateur Anthropology Hat On…..

In today’s sad society, people allow their self-esteem to be measured by the number of “likes” on Facebook, the number of followers on Twitter, the number of “hits” on Youtube, the number of “Thank Poster” on glocals, the number of “Friends” in any social media network and of course, the number of selfies they can take in any one day. 

So Ladies, they are just trying to increase their self-esteem in the only way they know how, so humour them a little and be grateful that you can measure your own self-esteem in many other, much more constructive ways, and also be grateful that someone wants your attention.  As Janet so nobley put it - it doesn't last forever 

Even if they do just want to talk to your feet…..

Can't find the Thank Poster's feet on glocals... Nir?!

Hi! To everybody! ( ps are you gonna to report to admin now?) 

Some have close up, recognisable, pofile pictures and are inviting you to join their network, perfectly acceptable in my view, you either accept or don't.

Others have a profile picture (like mine) which is distant, unrecognisable and wearing dark shades BEWARE!

Have always found dark shades scary.

But chickens are more scary than dark glasses 

Lol!!!

Lol...!!! @Vincenza

It looks like a strategy to get some attention...create a fuss about something! Kudos!

Haha!  Very funny, Cat and glad that you get where I'm coming from! xx

Like everything else, you can have too much of anything at a given time but later, when you begin to feel all that’s behind you, being chatted up now and then does wonders for your morale -- and is much more effective and cheaper than an expensive face cream.

R.

Hi

And Hi to you too.

(Chuffed to know you’re taking time out from pretending to be busy at the office.)